22/1/09

I hope my dear won't read this because he might feel sad.. I don't wish that he is sad..

That day, I sent him an sms asking if we can celebrate Valentine's together earlier because I'm not going to be around during Valentine's Day. But he say, he don't celebrate Valentine's.

He may not know how much it means to me, I guess.

I love receiving gifts, especially flowers and chocolates because I love roses as it means warmth, chocolate means warmth from inside.

Every year, in fact, everyday, I pray that I can have Valentine's everyday.

14/1/09 it's It's Diary Valentine's. I got it.

14/2/09, I'm going to have no Valentines. T.T

To me, every single Valentine's past, it means greater understanding and deeper love. And the celebration means to celebrate our greater understanding and deeper love.

Yesterday, I wanted so much to meet him but he were to rush home and do tarts. I can't be angry, sad or even jealous because I promised him that I won't do that again. Though I was really missing him a lot but I know this is my promise. I just don't want and can't afford to lose him again. I really can't.

I don't even know if I have the right to insist that I want to see him. I always give him a reason to look for me but to him, it was not urgent enough. I guess I don't know how to spread my urgency of wanting to see him.

Although he broke his promises but I will never break mine.
Although he decided to do things his way but I will never if I would hurt him.
Although he seldom try to ask me what I think but I will never miss a chance to know him more.
Although he don't express his love to me but I know I will love him and only him.
Although he doesn't know that I am still thinking a lot but I know I think so much is because I love him and I'm just feeling insecure and afraid to lose him.
Although he don't know how to express him feelings but I know that one day, he will tell me he love me most.
Although I know that me, being successful in this business, may draw us apart but I have no choice because I want to realize his dreams.
Although I know that he may not know and understand why I always act smart in front of him but he don't know that I just want him to be proud of me.
Although I don't know if I'll be the one for him but I know that he is the one for me.
Although I don't know if he loves me anymore but I know that I will love him, no matter what.

I will have PERSISTENCE, CONSISTENCE and URGENCY.
I will love him, selflessly, continuously and undemanding.
I will love him every second I have and I can breathe.
I will be there for him when he needs me.

I don't know if he can be there for me when he needs me but I can only say that that's all I can say.

=?Enchanted?=