Dream House

I've been thinking. What would my dream house be?

What is a dream house?

Now, it means a cosy place where me and my dear can feel warm. I just need a small house.

If we have kids, we can get a bigger house but not too big because I don't want to feel cold. ^^

I like the living room. It's awesome.
It's a guesthouse I stayed in KL before. I love it.

What is your dream house?
=?Enchanted?=

2/2/09

Days without him is like days without air. My team member said that I look like a car without fuel.

I really don't have the heart. I want to laugh but the laugh is not from the heart. I really hate myself now. Me, my mouth.

Why didn't I become someone better?

I really don't know who I am. I really don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I really don't know anything. What type of dream should I have?

It's like everything is nothing.

I love going for clubs, karaoke now. I don't have other things to do.

Here's my goal, everyday. Have 3 new customers everyday then go and have fun, every night. Cool huh?

I just want to dance it all out. I hope he can be dancing with me one day when we go without letting each other know that we're going. ^^ Will it ever happen?

I just want to marry him. Is it wrong to want to marry the person you love? Yes, I know what I've said have really hurt him but I really didn't mean to hurt him.

Now, he's cooling himself but I don't know if he've forgiven me. I know it's my fault. I'm sorry.

I used to think that our relationship might not last because I might fall in love for another guy and leave him. I thought he was just a replacement. However, every time, he says he wants to leave me, it's like my heart is missing, I could hardly breathe.

Last Saturday, I purposely asked Rami out and see if I would fall in love with him but the fact is that I told him to not touch me because my dear won't like. Immediately, I knew, my dear was not just a replacement. He was the one I want.

I was thinking, being with him, is there only sorrows? Yes. Falling in love with him, I'm filled with sorrow. I can't be with him all the time. Sometimes, I miss him like crazy but I can't tell him because he mind how people look at us. It was sorrowful.

I try my best to think of the things I used to think that he treated me really bad. However, no matter how hard I think now, I can't think of what's the bad thing he had done to me. I was expecting too much.

If I was given another chance, I would never repeat my mistake anymore.

The main thing now is that, can he accept me again?

=?Enchanted?=

1/2/09

Today, it's really a tiring day. I've closed 2 customers tonight. Just by inviting them to do a follow up scanning. ^^ It was great! ^^

Tonight, my dear still never reply me. I guess he is no more angry. (Actually, I hope... ^^)

Last few days, I've completed the download for Bleach 204 for Jerry but I don't dare to tell him because I scared that he will still not reply...

I want to, so much, go and watch "The Wedding Game" with him so I don't dare to go to the Cinema. I don't know if he's happier without me in his life, I don't know if he misses me, I don't know if I still stand a chance to win his heart and the worst part is that I don't know what I can do to win back his heart.

I have a plan for Valentine's too, like him but mine was more naive one, I guess. I still do it although I don't know if I would be around. I want to qualify for Phuket and VIP for extravaganza this month, still have 1 day left to do 10,000 VP.

I hope that when I qualify something, he will forgive me.

I'm really tired now but later still have something to carry on... it's 1.15am now...

Good night, my dear. Kiss on the cheeks, forehead, chin and lips. I love you. Nights.

=?Enchanted?=